Updated: Feb 27
BY KATE WHITE
What happens in the moment that loss sweeps into our lives and takes all that we have loved and held onto for a sense of self? What happens when all of our dreams, ideals, and hopes are taken away by the storms of change?
Shrouded in darkness, with no light to guide us, we are confronted with the mystery. With no solid ground to stand upon we are left open, tender and naked. And it is exactly here, as we are confronted with the unpredictable nature of life that we are being given a gift beyond the mind’s understanding.
It is here in the overwhelming tenderness of our being, that we are being given the gift of healing.
Grief cannot be explained. It cannot be contained or controlled. And yet the overwhelming nature of grief can make many of us turn away from its healing power. The pain can be so strong that it might feel as though we won’t survive if we allow it to rise up and out of us.
In the face of loss many of us will strive to keep control. Our fear of the unknowable can make us repress how we truly feel in order to push on and keep up with life. But when we make space to listen to our heart’s calling we know what is needed. And what is most needed might not arrive in the way we think it should.
Even if it seems unbearable and hopeless, the pain you are feeling is the reminder that you can. The pain is the medicine that will heal, taking us deeper beyond the surface of our lives and into the source of our Self.
When we are willing to be present to our emotions we allow them to pass through us. It does not necessarily make it easier, it does not make it lighter, but we must have absolute faith that by opening and surrendering to our feelings, we are allowing them to pass through us.
When we are not trying to hold on, when are not trying to control, there is spaciousness to breathe through it. There is spaciousness to simply be – however that might look or feel in any moment. We give ourselves this chance to be fully present to ourselves. And this is the greatest and most revolutionary act of self-care. By giving ourselves this chance to grieve, we release ourselves from the burden and pressure to control and fix life. We allow ourselves the freedom to be as we are.
Grief will look and feel different for each of us. But loss can be a gateway that takes us home to our Self. It can crack open your heart so that you are living with greater compassion and love for your self and all beings. It can melt division and separation, illuminating the sacred union between all of life.
Each of us contains the wisdom we need for our own healing. It is not outside of us at some distant point in the future. It is here now, in your breath, in your body, in the life that you are living. And when you walk through the gates of grief, you will know in your heart that love has been guiding you all along.
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